Daily Prompt, Fiction, Humour

Deserted Island! Five Items…?!

Five items on a deserted island.

Clarity please: what is an “item”? We term a pair of trousers as an item of clothing; would a full outfit utilise my item allowance?

Is an item allowed to be a machine or is it a single component? For example, could I have a boat? Or would I have to request a sheet of treated, industrial canvas that I could use as a sail once I had constructed my raft?

Should it be something I could pack into a suitcase?

Some people tell me I think too much. I’m inclined to agree.

I will assume item means no complex machinery and that it should fit in hand luggage.

So, items would be as follows:

1. MacDaddy Swiss Army Knife – you know, the one with the built-in car jack and puncture repair kit… not that I would have a car to jack, but at least if I needed to perform some improvised field first aid, I could use the puncture repair kit to heal a wounded boar, gain its trust and eventually befriend it, then learn where it lived, and eventually slaughter its family and eat like a king. Bonus: I could also use the knife to prepare the meat and make clothing from the hide. Bear Grylls ain’t got shit on me.

2. A journal. So I can record my time there and make notes for survival. Double bonus: the Swiss Army Knife comes with a small biro. This would see me through until I manage to kill the boar family; I would then use the blood and a quill from a bird – I figure I will be there a while, I will need to let the boars live for a number of generations so I can gather enough hide to make a sail.

3. A Ray Mears survival guide…. Or maybe an SAS survival guide. Depending on my mood.

4. A harmonica, because I want to learn and would become a badass harmonicaniser if that were the only recreational activity I had. Plus music is so important for remaining sane.

5. A copy of The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, Of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver’d by Pyrates.‘ Because I have never read it and would like something to read, and I reckon, with the relevant subject matter, I could even get some tips from it.

So there you have it. Totally logical choices. I win.

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15 thoughts on “Deserted Island! Five Items…?!

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